Tuesday's Gone With The Wind

     There is a lot I left out of the last week.  It came to me later.  We've received two beautiful flower arrangements (I have pictures; I will get them posted...PROMISE!)  We've received several cards.  I can't speak for Hubs, but I have personally received several personal emails from not only family but amazing friends.  Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind words and prayers, words of encouragement and your love.  I WILL respond to those that have written and sent private messages.  I've just been trying to catch up on the blog so that we were current, not a week behind.
     Today went well.  Hubs and I decided to go to lunch.  I took a shower (and I didn't cry!); we went to Golden Corral (you'll probably hear a lot about GC :smiles:  It's right up the road from us, and I really don't have the strength to say no to my boys when they gang up on me.  Today *I* suggested we go.)  It seemed that everyone around me was pregnant today.  That didn't upset me as badly as I thought it would.
     I truly believe, all things considered, we are ok.  Hubs and I know that we are going to try again; I don't know how long we will wait before we start trying.  We've decided that we will wait until Hubs has a job, and we are able to have benefits.
     After lunch, we had to go to Staples to get a print cartridge (so I can print out the donation form in the morning!)  Again, I have to say thank you to EVERYONE for supporting JJ in the jumprope for heart campaign.  His total as of right now:  $215!!!  I will let everyone know tomorrow what the final total is.  I do have to say:  JJ is so excited.  He couldn't believe that so many people (even people he's never met) gave money to help him reach his goal :) 
     We took JJ to Sonic to play and for Happy Hour.  He loved his surprise.  We stayed about an hour and then headed home because he still had homework.  Homework was done quickly.  Hubs cooked dinner (AND he cleaned the bathroom today...Have I mentioned how much I love him???)  We watched Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. 
     I can't help but glance at my closet mirror every time I come out of the bathroom.  I don't know how I feel anymore, seeing myself looking like I was never pregnant.  Our beautiful memory box stares at me, day in and day out.  I've seen everything in it except the pictures.  I'm not ready.  Perhaps I'll share photos one day of the box and the other memories that are inside.
     I've been asked if I am going to share the sex of the baby in the blog.  I will.  I don't know when; I'm just not ready for that step yet.  Maybe in a few months. 
     Earlier I wondered if a day would go by that my heart didn't feel like it was breaking; right now, I feel fine.  Hubs and I were laughing and honestly have no idea how it came about, but I started singing the theme song from Reading Rainbow.  "Butterfly in the sky.  I can fly twice as high." 
     I guess today wasn't very interesting.  I'll take boring though.  This last week has been hard.  I know I'm not the only person that has ever lost a baby, and I know I won't be the last.  It doesn't make it hurt any less...